Sadly, there are no easy answers here. If someone you love has made the decision to accept a gay identity, you are in for a much more complex relationship than "8 easy steps" can speak to.

There are, however, some things to bear in mind.

1. No matter how sudden or rash it may seem to you, this choice is the product of a long and very painful and confusing process. Often, your loved-one will not even be fully aware that a choice has been made. Be patient and respect the long hard road that has come before this moment.

2. Being gay and being a Christian are not necessarily exclusive categories. While it is important to recognize that homosexuality is not part of God's plan and that a gay life is one lived in sin, we must be ever vigilant to see the sin in our own lives as well. Christians accept that they are broken and sinful people. It is a basic tenet of faith, and if you do not hold to it, you are in more trouble than your friend. The majority of people in your church are living in just as much sin, with identities that are just as harmful, as anyone living the gay life. A deceitful spirit, a petty and divisive mind, a loose tongue, an unbounded sexual life, a haughty attitude -- all of these and so many more are on a par with gay sex. No sin trumps another. Every act that turns away from God and bends His law is an act of sin and death. Scripture tells us that "wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil" and that "the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God's laws."

3. Your loved-one's life is the one in crisis. You cannot approach them from a selfish stand-point. The changes that this decision have made in your life are nothing compared to the things going on in the heart and soul of the one you love. Do not hide behind excuses of "their own good", but honestly desire their good and pray for GOD to provide it -- not you.

4. God loves them. He is saddened and angry at their choices sometimes, just as He is with yours. But His love and devotion to them has not changed one bit.

5. You cannot save them. Only God can change, save, or deliver a person. It is His job and His speciality. Our job is prayer, love, support, and accountability.

6. You must firmly speak the truth in love. Despite all of my language of love and what may sound like a laissez-faire approach to this crisis, you do have a responsibility to speak the truth for the one you love. This requires humility and patience. Do not judge. Words such as "rebuke," "hell," and "filth" have seldom saved a soul. As much as a harsh approach will harden the speaker and receiver, a soft one will turn both of your lives to mush. You can do more harm than good if you "accept" your loved-one's "orientation" or decision. Accept THEM, but be clear on where you stand. Do not bring it up every day. Do not be pious and over-righteous. Do not make their healing a requisite for your love. Show them God's love through your own. Treat them as a Prodigal's father. See them and not just their sexuality. Speak to their true person and do not indulge the false one. Another tricky balance, but we have an awesome God who is not afraid to speak with us!